Wanton Thoughts of Yearning Hearts
by SocialDisease609
Summary: Since we all know that Clarke and Lexa are mature women, I wanted to explore the relationship from the standpoint of their sexual desires. There is no actual sex scene in this fic (the selling point of most fics!), but it does highlight their sexually instinctive thoughts. This is a fic for nerds like me who like to see the psychological standpoint of many characters.
It wasn't hard to see. A thousand words- a thousand _feelings_ \- conveyed in the quickest glance across the room by the two young women. Both women in power, yet only one held the most. Some of the Polis citizens said it was their Heda, wise and influential enough to bring the Skaikru to submission. Others said it was Wanheda, the serpent sent by the Sky People to lure the Commander into turning a blind eye against the acts of genocide committed by the Arkadians. Wanheda, a Helen of Troy, poised to love Prince Paris, only to bring Troy to its ruin and return to her King Menelaus at the end of it all. Lexa saw herself more as the legendary warrior Achilles. She would defend her people, her Myrmidons, but felt Clarke was more of a Briseis in this unfortunate situation.

To bring pleasure to Clarke's captivity, Lexa had done all she could to make the young woman comfortable and favored. She sent riders to bring any intact books and pieces of art from the destroyed buildings in the ruins of TonDC, which many referred to the 'Sonian. She purchased the highest quality art supplies Polis had to offer, kept Clarke's Ambassador Suite as lavish as possible, assigned her handmaidens, and the privilege to walk the many floors of Polis whenever she pleased. This treatment did not go unnoticed. Clarke didn't raise her voice at Lexa's constant efforts of pampering, but sensed the displeasure from the Grounders in Lexa's court. She was a prisoner of war, after all, perhaps even a ward, but a captive nonetheless, being treated like a goddess.

It did not seem to bother Lexa too much, as Clarke often caught the Commander stealing glances instead of paying complete attention to the court addressing her. Clarke wouldn't admit if she was asked, but in her mind, she felt empowered by Lexa's inability to take her eyes off her. Lexa already knew the lesson she was going to hear from Titus once he would catch her worshipping Clarke from afar. Love is weakness, and it would lead to a disruption in the way of the normal order. It was no secret to the Grounder nations that Lexa had a "weakness for the female form", and many of her enemies had tried to take advantage of that in the past by sending spies her way, hoping that they would end up in the Commander's bed and usurping the power for a different leader. Lexa saw through all of them, almost wanting to play along just for the amusement, but doused each threat as quickly as they arrived.

In a public display, Wanheda had submitted to Heda Lexa, sending a message that the Commander of the 12 Clans was more powerful than the Mountain Slayer; and that even Clarke Griffin trembled before Lexa's might. The Commander's enemies knew this not to be the full picture. Behind the scenes of the diplomatic stunt, the Heda was bowing before Wanheda every night, for sure. Clarke had done what every enemy of the Heda had desired: made their way into the Commander's heart enough to guide her battle arm.

However, intoxicated by the evidence that she was earning Clarke's forgiveness, Lexa did not care for the rumors. Rumors will happen no matter what, so why should these bother her? Lexa respected Clarke's unspoken desire to heal the heartbreak she caused, but knew she wasn't reading too far into things when Clarke would enter her private chambers with a blouse revealing a bit more cleavage than she would expose in the Court. The Sky Girl was giving her a tease- still discussing politics without exhaustion, but subtly letting Lexa know that she was still interested in her. Sometimes she would even lean across Lexa's desk, and delicately press her arms against her breasts, making them seem even more plump and perky than they naturally were. She would talk about random topics, looking out the window with a smirk as she spoke, knowing that the Commander was swallowing hard and doing everything she could to keep herself from staring down Clarke's shirt.

It didn't take long for Lexa to understand Clarke's flirting language. It was all tease and seduction. Bold, but clear that it was up to Lexa to capture her. However, Lexa knew she hadn't fully earned the right to indulge in Clarke's physical affections, and it tortured her to know that she had to endure these moments of mischievous behavior, feeling as if her hands were tied. If only Clarke would let her, she would drop to her knees and immediately remove the Skaikru girl's lower garments, kissing Clarke's voluptuous hips, hands sliding up the back of her thighs, and her tongue ready to taste Clarke's excitement. The Commander wondered if Clarke was aware that she daydreamed of stripping her naked, of taking her to bed- certain glances from the young Skaikru girl electrified Lexa's heart with the feeling of confirmation.

Clarke had wonders of her own. Her pride kept her limited in giving in to her feelings for Lexa. Only certain and basic acts of teasing felt appropriate, such as bending over in front of Lexa to pick something up, "forgetting" to button up her shirt modestly, and brief caresses of Lexa's knee or thigh, and maybe even a quick squeeze of Lexa's hips after a hug. Her heart ached for her lover's touch, her body shivered at the thought of a hard fuck, but her mind screamed for closure before pleasure. As she obeyed her stubborn mind, she often thought if Lexa knew that Clarke had touched herself at night, hoping an imaginary Lexa would give her enough pleasure to keep herself from giving in before she was emotionally ready. It didn't help that Clarke would feel herself become wet at just the slightest demonstrations of Lexa's power and strength, especially when she single-handedly defeated Prince Roan in combat, and boldly executed the Ice Nation's Queen.

Outside of the girls' visual communication, Titus watched, uneasy as he clearly recognized the starved lust behind Lexa's eyes when he would interrupt the two women's suspiciously courtship-like alone time. Based on his secret interrogations of the Skaikru boy, Murphy, he knew what Clarke really was- a criminal condemned by her own people for acts of treason. A felon was standing by his Heda's side. Lexa looked at this woman like she was water in the desert, but in his eyes, she was poison, a mirage waiting to destroy the lineage of Commanders.

Clarke wasn't a fool. She could see distrust and malicious atmospheres- she lived with criminals for months who only valued self-preservation. In fact, a small part of her almost wanted to rub how devoted Lexa was to her in his face, just to watch him squirm. She wanted to touch the Commander sensually in front of the Court. She wanted to suggestively flirt with Lexa as blatantly as possibly could in front of him. But she knew it would do no good to her lover, and withdrew from these tempting actions. She knew Titus was working for his own philosophical beliefs, instead of serving his Heda like he had sworn. Clarke had seen that Lexa was suspicious of this as well. With enough stress as it was, Lexa had to worry about the Skaikru rebellion, and the threat of her own citizens rebelling against her counteractions. Her main concern was to be there for Lexa. She had been too stubborn and wasted too much time.

Lexa stood before her, the strong leader composing everything inside of her, as it was time for her to leave. Clarke couldn't help but furrow her brows in sympathy. Lexa deserved more than she had given her these past months, yet she never demanded it or rebelled. She accepted Clarke's punishment with dignity, even if it meant giving Clarke up. The greatest love is the love that waits. Emotional pleasure, sexual pleasure- Lexa had removed her own desires for indulgence to respect Clarke.

It was in this moment, as Lexa held onto her forearm in their farewell handshake, that Clarke knew Lexa had earned her heart even before this very moment. Clarke felt embarrassingly selfish. Throughout this whole time, Lexa never once revoked her own heart from Clarke's reach, even though she was not receiving a lover's affection, as many would give up when there's barely any "reward" given for being patient.

Clarke gave herself in body and heart, and accepted Lexa, for their first time ever, making sure that Lexa felt loved and lusted for all at once. Ecstasy would replace the fear of never seeing each other, and love would ensure the future.


End file.
